Life Update from Kaitlyn
Life Update from Kaitlyn

In the spring, we applied to get verified to adopt in the State of Texas. The organization we’d selected was a ‘Christian’ Adoption Agency that came with glowing reviews from those in our church community and town. During the process, we were asked to be 100% transparent in our past. Wise counsel, and the Agency, told us to be explicitly clear with our individual and collective histories. And we did, gladly! We fully believe the roads we’ve walked this side of heaven we’ve walked for a reason.

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Recent PostsKaitlyn Stephensadoption Comments
My Experience with Toxic Church Culture: A response to Docu Series ‘Hillsong: A Megachurch Exposed’
My Experience with Toxic Church Culture: A response to Docu Series ‘Hillsong: A Megachurch Exposed’

We were removed from our church body in Dallas without any option for reconciliation. We were told to “go somewhere else and get healthy”. And swiftly excommunicated. Phone calls and text messages ceased. ‘Friendships’ vanished. To be very clear, we weren’t healthy. We were hurting and we hurt others as a result. And, the removal of our “ownership” (aka membership) to that church body was revoked without Biblical grounds.

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Grief & LossKaitlyn StephensHillsong, church hurt, Toxic, Culture, ChristianityComment
Diary of the Wife of an Addict: Hello, is anyone there?
Diary of the Wife of an Addict: Hello, is anyone there?

It’s 11:32 PM, three days before Thanksgiving 2021. Only moments ago I finished begrudgingly folding a load of laundry that I let sit in the dryer the past two days. Why, you ask? Well…. I stormed out of bed in a huff and anxiously needed something to do so….laundry it is! At least it’s the lesser of the two options: laundry or drown my anxious thoughts in Peanut Butter dipped in Homemade Vanilla Blue Bell Ice Cream. But, I digress. Back to the laundry. Perhaps something about the anger being forced upon clean cotton feels less damaging than forcing him awake to confess.

Confess what? I’m not sure - but I have a hunch there’s something.

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Kaitlyn StephensComment
Healthy Family Boundaries Create Healthy Family Members
Healthy Family Boundaries Create Healthy Family Members

Many Christians seem to have adopted the idea that boundaries are inherently negative. Somehow Christianity has come to define love as having no boundaries. If someone asks you for your shirt, you give it to them. If someone slaps you on one cheek, then you should offer them the other.

Do verses like these mean you can’t stand up for yourself? Or that having boundaries is sinful?

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Joshua Stephensmarriage, wife, mom, divroce, spose, spouse, brother, sister, mother, dad, momuncleComment
Happy Birthday "Mom"
Happy Birthday "Mom"

…at times my heart still sings the chorus clearly. Today is one of those times. It also just so happens to be my mom’s birthday, her 53rd birthday - and I should also add - Aerosmith is one of her favorite bands. And to make things a bit more complex, we haven’t talked since November 9th, 2018 (which happened to be my 35th birthday). If I was counting, I’d tell you it’s been 431 days since we last exchanged words and 13,215 days of feeling the gravity of the lyrics to a dumb pop-rock alternative crossover hit…

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Grief, Grief & Loss, FaithJoshua Stephensadoption, abandoned, birthdayComment
Another 'New Year' Blog Post
Another 'New Year' Blog Post

Do you ever find yourself trying to force your relationships to mirror others? Like, we all see those mattress commercials with couples all cuddled up and think… that looks cozy. And then, you go to bed and try and cuddle but your husband’s beard is scratchy, the wife’s snoring and the dog is pinning down the covers. So, you give up on the idealistic cuddle, roll over and lay down in the Heisman position and pass out into a pool of drool.

Please tell me it’s not just me….

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FaithKaitlyn Stephensrecovery, development, leadershipComment
Hills, Valleys, & Everywhere Between
Hills, Valleys, & Everywhere Between

Like Britney Spears’ 2007 salon breakdown experience, I too have shaved my head in moments of insanity. And although I wouldn’t wish for anyone to walk in the path I have, I am grateful for every step I’ve taken. Because with every step, whether one forward or two back, God’s grace has carried me. It’s carried my family. And whether you agree with me or not, your steps and missteps have carried you, too…

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FaithJoshua Stephensfaith, broke, hopelessComment
If You're Reading This, It’s Not Too Late
If You're Reading This, It’s Not Too Late

Though I find it easy to bleed out parts of my story as an offering of what Jesus is doing in my life, there are chapters seemingly unmentionable. I struggle with communicating the periodical brokenness I feel around things related to physical intimacy. Like many children, I grew up with little to no supervision. Subsequently, much of my youth was spent trying to gain the respect of older kids. It was there, a teenager 7 years my senior (I was nine) held me down for three long years…

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RecoveryJoshua Stephenssex, sexuality, homosexuality, abuse, sex abuse, predator, molest, molested, molester, rape, trauma, recovery, forgiveness, forgiven, how to forgive, help me forgive Comments
Is Your Head Shoved Up Your Past?
Is Your Head Shoved Up Your Past?

The list of could haves and should haves is vast and wide. So is the time spent focusing on things we can’t change. And yet, we expect new outcomes and in doing so we surrender ourselves to the cycle of insanity. I get it though, there are plenty of things in my past I wish I could change. I certainly never wanted to experience drug addiction or near financial ruin. There are investments I missed out on, along with a rolling scroll sized list of mistakes I never thought I’d make…

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FaithJoshua Stephenspast, present, future, future tripping, surrender, longing, bad choices, mistakes, hope deferred, bankrupt, idolatry, idolComment
Shame is Only Embarrassing If We Allow It To Be
Shame is Only Embarrassing If We Allow It To Be

In moments of shame, I wander down paths of darkness traversing great lengths to remain unknown. Out of feelings of embarrassment, I allow sin to rob my voice. In silence, a lack of confession starves my relationship with God and in self preservation, I drift. Isolated, I allow the current of life to pull me away. Wanting to regain ground but unwilling to sacrifice my pride, I sink to depths not meant for anyone and suffocate. Without confession, I drown.

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FaithJoshua Stephensshame, confess, confession, repent, repentance, hiding, covering up, deceiving, honesty, honest Comment
Well Acquainted With Grief
Well Acquainted With Grief

With the type of sorrow grieving an innocent childhood lost to negligence, I found no value in sadness. Besides, it seemed people liked me best when I was upbeat and happy. Though my general disposition is cheerful, It is unhealthy to assume anyone can stay that way forever. 20 years passed before I allowed myself to grieve. In that time, I developed an exaggerated character of myself. Like a caricature, my positive emotional features became larger than life.

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Health & Wellness, Grief & Loss, Grief, FaithJoshua Stephensgrief, sorrow, suffering, pain, hurt, sadness, sad, broken, brokeness, depressionComment
Forsaking Man's Best Friend
Forsaking Man's Best Friend

I hate admitting negligence towards my dogs because I like to think I would never cause them harm. However, in drug addiction, I was not only negligent, but downright neglectful. Even though it wasn’t intentional, using made me unavailable to many of life’s demands. Bills went unpaid. I failed to show up to functions requiring my presence. I didn’t feed my animals, let alone myself…

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Recovery, RelationshipsJoshua Stephensdog, dogs, ziggy, dolly, puppy, puppies, recovery, neglectComment