Suitcases & Faces

#gospelholics

Posts in Faith

Happy Birthday "Mom"

Happy Birthday "Mom"

…at times my heart still sings the chorus clearly. Today is one of those times. It also just so happens to be my mom’s birthday, her 53rd birthday - and I should also add - Aerosmith is one of her favorite bands. And to make things a bit more complex, we haven’t talked since November 9th, 2018 (which happened to be my 35th birthday). If I was counting, I’d tell you it’s been 431 days since we last exchanged words and 13,215 days of feeling the gravity of the lyrics to a dumb pop-rock alternative crossover hit…

Grief, Grief & Loss, FaithJoshua StephensJanuary 14, 2020adoption, abandoned, birthdayComment

Another 'New Year' Blog Post

Another 'New Year' Blog Post

Do you ever find yourself trying to force your relationships to mirror others? Like, we all see those mattress commercials with couples all cuddled up and think… that looks cozy. And then, you go to bed and try and cuddle but your husband’s beard is scratchy, the wife’s snoring and the dog is pinning down the covers. So, you give up on the idealistic cuddle, roll over and lay down in the Heisman position and pass out into a pool of drool.

Please tell me it’s not just me….

FaithKaitlyn StephensJanuary 1, 2020recovery, development, leadershipComment

I HAD AN ANXIETY ATTACK.

I HAD AN ANXIETY ATTACK.

Ever feel like you’re grappling for any sense of normalcy? And before long, you’re doing anything you can to get back to where you once were? In the aftermath of trauma we experience hopelessness. In that space, we wind up seeking our own version of normalcy.

FaithKaitlyn StephensJune 29, 2019anxiety, anxiety attack, mental illness, mental health, trust, people pleasing, grief, sorrow, John, trauma Comments

Death by a 1,000 Confessions pt 1.

Death by a 1,000 Confessions pt 1.

Because we fear what others think of us, we withhold information. However, if we genuinely desire relief from what ails us, we must stop caring about our reputation. We cannot save our face and a** at the same time…

FaithJoshua StephensJune 4, 2019faith, confess, confession, repentComment

Hills, Valleys, & Everywhere Between

Hills, Valleys, & Everywhere Between

Like Britney Spears’ 2007 salon breakdown experience, I too have shaved my head in moments of insanity. And although I wouldn’t wish for anyone to walk in the path I have, I am grateful for every step I’ve taken. Because with every step, whether one forward or two back, God’s grace has carried me. It’s carried my family. And whether you agree with me or not, your steps and missteps have carried you, too…

FaithJoshua StephensMay 29, 2019faith, broke, hopelessComment

Is Your Head Shoved Up Your Past?

Is Your Head Shoved Up Your Past?

The list of could haves and should haves is vast and wide. So is the time spent focusing on things we can’t change. And yet, we expect new outcomes and in doing so we surrender ourselves to the cycle of insanity. I get it though, there are plenty of things in my past I wish I could change. I certainly never wanted to experience drug addiction or near financial ruin. There are investments I missed out on, along with a rolling scroll sized list of mistakes I never thought I’d make…

FaithJoshua StephensMay 22, 2019past, present, future, future tripping, surrender, longing, bad choices, mistakes, hope deferred, bankrupt, idolatry, idolComment

Shame is Only Embarrassing If We Allow It To Be

Shame is Only Embarrassing If We Allow It To Be

In moments of shame, I wander down paths of darkness traversing great lengths to remain unknown. Out of feelings of embarrassment, I allow sin to rob my voice. In silence, a lack of confession starves my relationship with God and in self preservation, I drift. Isolated, I allow the current of life to pull me away. Wanting to regain ground but unwilling to sacrifice my pride, I sink to depths not meant for anyone and suffocate. Without confession, I drown.

FaithJoshua StephensMay 20, 2019shame, confess, confession, repent, repentance, hiding, covering up, deceiving, honesty, honest Comment

Tip of the Iceberg: Judging From Afar

Tip of the Iceberg: Judging From Afar

We silently sit there, scrolling, double tapping, commenting.... judging. Based on what? A 4x4 image? A split second in time? The 1 in 37 selfies that she was proud of? The hours in the gym it took to be proud enough to even have that photo taken? You see a 4x4 image but what you don't see is the story behind it.

FaithKaitlyn StephensMay 10, 2019instagram, judging, judge, celebrityComment

WHY ME, GOD? When Tragedy Strikes

WHY ME, GOD? When Tragedy Strikes

Why did my virginity get stolen from me? True, I didn't want to give my virginity to him! But, I wasn't seeking after God at that point in my life. Instead, I was seeking validation from the world. I'd rejected who God said I was and accepted the lies of the enemy. Had I chosen to actively seek the Truth…

Faith, Relationships, Recent PostsKaitlyn StephensMay 9, 2019God, Jesus, Why, Hurt, Church Hurt, Cancer, Breakups, HeartbreakComment

When Evidence of Repentance is Too Little Too Late

When Evidence of Repentance is Too Little Too Late

He understands addiction and bears with us patiently as we make our way out - even if we’re kicking and screaming like immature children. Even when we’re making a scene and making other people look bad. Even when we cause discord, Jesus still offers forgiveness and receives us…even when the church does not.

Leadership, FaithJoshua StephensMay 8, 2019church hurt, kicked out, repentanceComment

Well Acquainted With Grief

Well Acquainted With Grief

With the type of sorrow grieving an innocent childhood lost to negligence, I found no value in sadness. Besides, it seemed people liked me best when I was upbeat and happy. Though my general disposition is cheerful, It is unhealthy to assume anyone can stay that way forever. 20 years passed before I allowed myself to grieve. In that time, I developed an exaggerated character of myself. Like a caricature, my positive emotional features became larger than life.

Health & Wellness, Grief & Loss, Grief, FaithJoshua StephensMay 7, 2019grief, sorrow, suffering, pain, hurt, sadness, sad, broken, brokeness, depressionComment

Longing For Freedom Without Repentance

Longing For Freedom Without Repentance

We got plugged in. We put down roots. We started serving. We got mentors. Then, I relapsed on methamphetamine. Like pennies on a funnel shoot, it was the beginning of a slow and brutal spiral out of control. There are several contributing factors leading to my decision use drugs, however they are all an exaltation of things above Jesus. Trusting in drugs, alcohol, and pornography I pushed Jesus aside. Even though stress, anxiety, abuse, and trauma have to bow to the name of Jesus, I did not.

Faith, RecoveryJoshua StephensApril 26, 2019repent, repentance, freedom, freedom from drugs, how to confess, confessionComment

Betrayed By A Click: Exchanging Jesus For A Lie

Betrayed By A Click: Exchanging Jesus For A Lie

When staring into the digital abyss, I tend to lose focus of what truly matters. Distracted by social media, entertainment-streaming-services, online news outlets, and websites galore, I exchange my relationship with the Lord for lesser things. Judas did the same too:

FaithJoshua StephensApril 19, 2019miracles, betrayal, betrayed, easter, passover, pass over, resurrection, click, burial, money, pornography, bull, communion Comment

Anger: Hulk-Smash Edition

Anger: Hulk-Smash Edition

Historically, when rage sets in, The Hulk takes over and I self-sabotage by way of vices. When everything around me seems to be working against me, I get angry.

Faith, Health & WellnessJoshua StephensApril 15, 2019anger, feelings, emotion, addiciton, recoveryComment

When Your Dreams Fade Away

When Your Dreams Fade Away

Regardless of what it looks like, how we got it, what we risked, or if we never touched it - at one point - didn’t we all have a dream?

Health & Wellness, FaithJoshua StephensApril 10, 2019dream, dreams, giving up, give up, defeatedComment

Matters of the Heart

Matters of the Heart

Someone recently told me to quit speaking "christianese" and dive deeper. So, I'll get right to the point.

FaithKaitlyn StephensApril 6, 2019faith, serve, servingComment

Clothed In Couture

Clothed In Couture

In my daydream, I’m also a size 8 (because I’m type A and I have to be somewhat realistic!) with perfectly sculpted arms, my hair doesn’t frizz, my butt doesn’t jiggle and the Christian Louboutin heels I’m wearing don’t land loudly on the marble floors beneath me like hoofs on a horse. Instead, I glide - nearly floating - as I twirl and whirl in my couture gown… move over Kendall Jenner!

Faith, LeadershipKaitlyn StephensJanuary 12, 2019fear of god, balenciaga, clothing, couture, god's love, 1 Samuel, Acts 22, King David, A man after God's heart Comment

Abide: to continue in a place

Abide: to continue in a place

It was in this place, where I felt I had hit rock bottom, the Lord began calling me into a season of active rest. I wish I could say it got better, but unfortunately, it got a whole lot worse...

Health & Wellness, Word Study, Grief, FaithJoshua StephensOctober 10, 2018Adolphus Hotelsuicide, overdose, substance abuse, chemical dependency, hopeless, word study, addictionComment

Word Study, "Word = Order"

Word Study, "Word = Order"

If you want to have your mind blown, watch this video! The Hebrew word for order, is “Davar.” The word, word means order. Thus, the word of God is His Order. Likewise, God’s Word, is God’s “order.”

Word Study, FaithJoshua StephensSeptember 24, 2018study, obedience, authority, rebel, rebellion, provisionComment

Rats On a Plane: Where You Focus Is Where You Land

Rats On a Plane: Where You Focus Is Where You Land

If rats can’t breathe at higher altitudes, we shouldn’t bother with their presence as we ascend into the clouds - A message from our dear friend Chase Arrington about landing where your looking.

Faith, RecoveryChase ArringtonAugust 20, 2018addict, addiction, drugs, meth, methamphetamine, alcohol, focus, joy, freedomComment