Life Update from Kaitlyn

In the spring, we applied to get verified to adopt in the State of Texas. The organization we’d selected was a ‘Christian’ Adoption Agency that came with glowing reviews from those in our church community and town. During the process, we were asked to be 100% transparent in our past. Wise counsel, and the Agency, told us to be explicitly clear with our individual and collective histories. And we did, gladly! We fully believe the roads we’ve walked this side of heaven we’ve walked for a reason.

So, we went full speed ahead with our application process, hopeful and confident in the road ahead. During our first video call we asked the Agency, “will addiction in our past be a blocker?”. We were told there’s grace for mistakes and it wouldn’t be a hindrance. We were practically floating on a cloud!! We continued the process through a month of evening classes, extensive paperwork and even a color coded safety map of the home. One last interview and we’d be prepping for our home visits.

It was days after the most recent interview that we received the news… the agency would not be moving forward in the process to verify us for adoption.

We were devastated. Heart broken. Angry. And above all, we were feeling incredibly hurt. A hurt we were all too familiar with… an organization spouting the name of Jesus and acting in opposition to the grace He so freely gives.

To say we’ve completely worked through, and healed from, the pain of the denial of adoption would be a lie. The roads we’ve walked often feel like a punishment we’ll never fully recover from despite the TRUTH we know in our hearts; His grace is sufficient.

The redemption and grace evidenced in our lives felt (feels!) cheapened with their refusal. It was all too reminiscent of our church hurt: a hurt we’d thought was ‘behind’ us in many ways. Sure, we knew we’d never fully ‘recover’ from the hurt we experienced but we definitely never foresaw us being hurt by another Jesus-centered, organization.

This simple ‘Life Update’ post isn’t coming to a close with a pretty Instagram-able bow on top. But, we are here- still standing, still praising Him, still eternally thankful for His grace and still seeking (imperfectly) more of Him, this side of Heaven.